A Letter to my Sisters on Father’s Day

On this Father’s Day I am so thankful to be able to say that I have a great relationship with my dad. I know that there are a lot of people who cannot say this, and some who cannot say that they even know who their dad is. I am especially grateful this year, as my dad recently went through cancer treatment for the first time, as well as the fact that I lost my mom 7 months ago.

I didn’t always have a positive relationship with my “PawPaw”, and I hate that there are many years wasted because of it. Ladies, when you have children, do all you can to guard that man’s reputation in front of your children. Your children hear you on the phone, and they determine how they feel about their dad based on how you display how you feel. You are totally screwing up your male children if you dog out their dad in front of them, as they are little reflections of him. Your girls are learning how to relate to a man from your example. If that man ain’t right towards you, it has nothing to do with his relationship with his kids. So drop the “thattriflinnigga” spirit and let those kids form their own opinion of him. I lost many years that I cannot get back because of watching my parents’ jacked up relationship.

I thank God my husband didn’t come along until after my relationship with my dad had healed, which actually took place in the courtroom on the day my parents ended their 38 years of what I refer to as hell. That’s when I let go of all the false accusations, as well as the true ones, and wiped the slate clean. That’s the day I learned to love my dad unconditionally. I’m pretty sure my mom witnessing her parent’s tumultuous relationship was the seed that had plans to go on for generations to come. But God had other plans. Fortunately, we have the power to end all generational curses, and that power is love.

Oh yes, my husband had to get through some residual effects. But Lord-ha-mercy this man has no idea of the land mine he would have been stepping on had we married just 5 years earlier. If you are single and don’t want to be, make sure you don’t have some messed up views about some man in your past, daddy OR ex, that may repel a good man in your future.

I’m grateful for every day that my daddy calls me, and that he has a loving relationship with my daughter AND my husband. I’m grateful that our relationship survived their divorce as well as his remarriage. I’m grateful that my Heavenly Father healed my heart to make this all possible.

I was inspired to write this post by Jasmine Johnson of Ebony Life. Her post is at:

http://www.ebony.com/life/essay-how-i-learned-to-forgive-my-father-543#axzz2WPoH9RtL

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